Times they are a changing

Time Flies

I'm twenty Two.
I still feel like I'm 12.
Nevertheless, i need to remember and live like time is ending soon…because it is.
By American standards, I have lived about 1/4 of my life already. I have about 3/4s to go…God willing.
What have I done so far?
This is an everlasting concern of mine, since I want my life to make a difference. Sometimes, I am happy with my outcomes…sometimes, I am not.What I do know, is that I need to get out of the house more.I am a homebody. I like to be at home, relaxing, learning, reading, being, whatever. Generally it's just laziness, sometimes it is necessary.I went for a walk today to think up sermons for my missions trip to India. What's difficult is that I have no idea about that culture (for the most part). I have no idea what they struggle with, what they fear, how the interact, what they need. Save for the basics of humanity, I know nothing about them and their culture. How do you speak and impact people you know nothing about? I guess this is the "relevance" that teens always cry that adults lack. This "relevance" I lack too.
So I walked.God is a big God. And the struggles may be different, but He is the same. The Bible and it's truths transcend time, and space, and culture. It is important for me to remember that. The Truth will impact anyone anywhere

As I walked around my circle, I realized (as I do every time) that I have no idea who my neighbors are. I have no idea who they are, what their names are (for the most part), what they need, what their story is. And sadly, I doubt they know little to anything about me.
I always hid behind my parents. I am shy by nature and an observer, so I tend to stand behind the ones in charge and allow them to do the talking. I've always been this way.
However, I am twenty two years old. I am an adult. Everyone is my equal. No one is better or worse than I am. I'm not alittle kid anymore, and if I want to do what God wants me to do, I have to suck it up and (pretend) to be an adult. I'm not going to ever feel my age, I'm not ever going to want to go meet people, or introduce myself. I will never feel like I am able, I will never feel as if it's my place. I just got to do it.

When I live on my own, I want to know my neighbors. I'll get that chance soon.
It makes me wonder what's my niche in this life, in this place, where I'm at. How do I show God to people here, where I can't preach, or teach, or disciple. I'm not an evangelist but I'm called to make disciples. How do we do that?I love my friends. They teach me so much. Each one has specific talents, gifts, and abilities which challenge me. Toni has been an extreme example of how to love everyday. She finds practical ways to show people she loves them, not because she should, but because she really DOES love them. Her heart and spirit are an example to me of how to live in an EveryDay manner: seeing people, showing them you care. But it doesn't work unless you really do care.
Each one of my friends is an example to me.

Becky, she's the one everybody loves. Seriously, everybody! I'm not quite sure how she does it, but there is a draw in her that just attracts people. She has her ups and downs, but that makes her more endearing, more lovable, and people follow her. She is not the "obvious" leader, but boy does she lead. She is probably the humblest person I have ever met, and it's amazing that she really has no idea how amazing she is! She is for real, and I absolutely love that about her. Genuine in her struggles and her victories. She tries. She embraces that she isn't perfect, but she tries. I love watching Becky. She is soo funny, but has much wisdom,

and is so teachable. I have loved watching her gain her voice-she has a lot in her to share, and it is much needed.

Kristy is a mighty woman of God. I am so blessed to be a part of her life. I am located closer to her and it's amazing to share in her experiences and watch her grow. She challenges me in her faith and love for God. It is simple and pure, but it is so deep. She is a woman of prayer and of perseverance. An

d watching that grow and deepen and develop keeps me humble. She is shy, and quiet to those who don't know her well, but she is loud, vibrant, and so chatty when you know her. She is wonderful!

Carrie, wow. I think from when I met her to now, she has changed the most…well maybe not "changed" but opened up and really come into her own. That girls got wisdom, a quick wit, a keen mind, and a kind spirit. She is feisty, but man, she i

s a mom to those who need one-a young, hip and cool mom, but mothering noneth

eless. Girls are drawn to her, they need what she has. She is challenging and honest, but in it all she is gentle and kind. I still don't understand how someone so feisty and sharp can be so gentle and sweet; it's a

balance I have seen few people accomplish with such grace as Carrie. If I could define her in one word, it would be that: Grace.

Oh and then there is Abbey. Abbey….I don't even know where to begin with her. She has a life inside of her that is contagious. She is an upper, even when she is down. When she is frustrated, she is encouraging. I really don't know how she does it. She is charismatic, inviting, and gorgeous. She was my leader, and the style she had taught me so much. She has taught me so so so much! And her laugh is contagious. She is just life-pure and vulnerable.

Carisma and Priscila are new additions to my family of friends. I have been so extremely blessed to have been able to connect with them at school. Carisma, strong, beautiful, feisty in her own right, playful, and godly. Her strength is incredible but it comes out so softly. She's see

n a lot of things, been a lot of places, and it shows. It shows in her knowing looks, and her understanding eyes. She is beautiful, not just physically, but her being-who she is-is very beautiful. I am so glad I'll be living with her. True, we might have our occasional fights, but I respect her deeply. And Priscila, what a gentle, kind, beautiful girl. Man, she is so incredibly sweet. I trust her. I trust her very much and respect her too. The character that she continually chooses to have is one that I greatly admire and respect. She has a dignity and grace to her that is shy and inviting, but she is terribly strong. She has been through a lot and has come out for the better.

And then there is Adam. My life is a movie, and it's due to this man. He is first my friend, and now I also call him my boyfriend. I really can't think of another man that I respect as much as him. Honestly…I'm even trying to think of one. He is a strange person, incredibly funny especially when he isn't trying. He definitely keeps me entertained. But more than that, he challenges that crud out of me. The amo

unt that he is grown in the years that I have known him is astounding. Like Carrie, he is coming into his own-getting comfortable in his skin. He is a man of God, and I respect him immensely. He is both an upfront leader, but also one in the shadows. He is incredibly humble. He cares so much for the people around him, but it doesn't stop at just words, an idea, or an emotion-he serves them. Watching his life, just his daily normal non-special actions, convict me. I think he is probably the most thoughtful, observant person I have ever met. See a need-fill a need is probably a good description of his life. And he does it without complaint, without want of recognition, without need of anything in return. His life makes me want to serve people. I've actually gotten better at observing the needs around me after spending time around Adam. He, like Toni, practically love the people around them. And man, he loves God-sold out, all out for God. He loves God to the point where it hurts. No matter what, no matter where, he will follow God, and that quality is very rare. That kind of character is rare. He has gifting and talents in him that haven't even been touched yet, and I am so excited for his life. SO excited. And I count it my honor and blessing that he would want to share it with me. I would follow him, and with men, that is a rare thing for me to say. I trust him, and would follow his decision.

I have many friends, but I was just thinking of these few people in specific-there are so many more that have challenged me and made me better, it would be impossible to name them all. I hope that one day, I can be like them. The God tha

t is inside them is so attractive. I have so far to go, so much to learn, but I suppose I just hope that my life is attractive, like theirs is. Because, they'd be the first to say, it's not them it's Jesus. If they read this they would shake their heads, maybe give me a polite thank you, and quickly spout 9 things that they could be better in. But its been my privilege to see what's coming out of them, and the fruit is good. I guess those that are doing good, will never fully see all the good that they do, because really, it's Christ in them. I love them very much, and their lives have blessed me and made me better.

I want to find my niche in this life. Even if I had a dead end job, was never in the spot light, never went to another country, I want to be able to live and love where I'm at. But I have no idea how to do such a thing.
I was on an airplane coming back from Florida, and there was a girl who sat beside me. She was about my age and she loved Jesus, you could just tell. I felt a bond with her, that I've never really put my finger on with strangers. She was my sister…it was odd, but it's what I've felt a lot for my brothers and sisters in Christ all over the world. I pray and I weep and I love them because they are my family-even the people in India. I may not know them, but we are united in Christ and their struggles are my struggles. And with this girl on the plane, I FELT that bond. We didn't even chat for very long before she started reading her book and I fell asleep, but she really was family. Mine was hers and vice versa. I had food and I offered it to her, not out of politeness, but because why wouldn't I? I offer

ed it with the same heart and desire, that I would Kristy, or Toni or anyone who is dear to my heart. It was strange because I had never felt it so poignant. It was wonderful!

I suppose that time ticks on. On and On it goes, and I don't want to wait. I want to live and love wherever I'm at. How? I don't quite know. I'm not a preacher, I'm not an evangelist. I don't know how to bring up Jesus in a confrontational manner that will get them saved. But I can serve, and I can care. I can fill a need, and be hospitable. I can smile! I can serve and I can care. So daily, what does that look like? I have grea

t teachers, now I just need to get off my lazy butt and leave the house :)
So, Holy Spirit, how bout it? Help guide us and teach us, mold us and use us. Where you lead us, we will follow you. To wherever or whoever that will take us. My life is yours, do-or don't do-what you will. Spend my life as you see fit, and if that's moving files 9 hours a day with contact with only one other person, so be it. But help me to love that one person the way that you love them. If you want to take my life and multiply it and touch millions of other people, so be it. If you want to waste my life on nothing important, but simply as glory to your name, then let it be the most glorious nothing that this world has ever seen! If I pass away with no one knowing my name, I'll learn to be ok with that (just

being honest here). But please God, help me to love people, to make their life better, but ultimately help me point them to You, they need to

know You. You're the only thing that matters.
Time keeps moving. I have a few years left,

help me to live them wisely and with purpose.