To the Depths

Yes, gifts are nice. Yes, "happy birthdays" are great.

But what I'm really thankful for are the things people do and say that make the day better. The things they did that show me that I'm seen and they add to my life in a way that mattered and made a difference.

I don't need gifts, I don't need money, I don't even need words or actions necessarily.

That's why I don't like to give birthday cards or say happy birthday.

Your birthday is a celebration of your life on earth. If I'm going to celebrate a person's life, showing them that I am happy they are on this planet, then God forbid me to simply SAY it to them on the day when your obligated to. I don't want a reminder that someone was born and for me to throw a remark their way. I don't want to celebrate simply because "it's what you do." No, I want to make sure that they KNOW that I am THANKFUL that they were born.

Happy day of your birth! We are better because you are here. I appreciate your life.

So yes, the wishes of happiness and prosperity are good.

But it was the thoughtful unsolicited action that brightened my morning. It was the cancelled class so that I could have free time that showed me I was appreciated. It's the kind words of encouragement and support on days that aren't obligations, that remind me I am seen.

I think, when I have a family, I want to have unbirthday days. Spontaneous nights where I have a birthday celebration for my son or my daughter or my husband. Days that we celebrate that that person is alive, and how thankful we are for them.

I want to send birthday cards at wrong dates of the calendar. Because on THAT day, I am celebrating and appreciating their life. Perhaps in person this will be different because then I can do some physical act or gesture to show love and appreciation on the day they were born. But again, if it's only shown on the day that STRANGERS are obliged to say "Happy birthday" then I think it's pretty cheap show of affection.

This is exemplified by the infamous (to me) "Happy birthday Emily!"

So, as I am thankful for all the kind gestures (which I really DO appreciate them!), I am very thankful for the early present of an intimate childhood companion, the morning surprise that helped me get out of bed, the funny voicemail that made me smile, the cancelled class that allowed me to enjoy stolen moments of this busy day, and the future dinner with a man that shows appreciation for the day of my birth EVERY day.

And this is how I celebrate my life. By people that see, participate in, and support my life.