Notes so I remember

Humility.

Let's just say, I'm learning it.

Of course, I did ask for it.

So here are the quick notes so I don't forget what's in my head...

Last sunday:

"We don't have God because we don't need God. Of course we NEED God, but we sure don't act like it. Honestly, we don't really BELIEVE we need God. If we really understood how much we needed God, everything would change. But as of now, we have other options."

Today in class:

"Some people become spiritually mature to the point where they are no longer tempted to lie or steal or cheat or lust or covet. However, no one out grows being tempted to be prideful and to rebel. If they say 'I don't listen to people, I listen to God' or 'I'm not under your authority, I'm under God's authority,' they probably have a problem. Satan's downfall was pride and rebellion. Ours is too. We are never too mature in Christ, to not be tempted by the snare of pride and rebellion. This is especially so in American, where we hold so highly to democracy. We vote pastor's out; that would be unheard of in other countries! If necessary, pray for God to take the pastor out, but do not rebel. If you sow rebellion, you will reap rebellion-even your kids could be effected."

My Fast:

"My physical weakness through not eating, is a sobering reminder of how really weak I am. I need God like my body needs food. I am weak always, but right now I feel and understand how really weak and dependent I am"

Bondage Breaker by Neil Anderson:

"The third channel of temptation is at the heart of the New Age movement: the temptation to direct our own destiny, to rule our own world, to be our own God"

"By appealing to the pride of life, Satan intends to steer us away from the worship of God and destroy our obedience to God. Whenever you feel that you don't need God's help or direction, that you can handle your life without consulting Him, that you don't need to bow the knee to anyone, beware: That's the pride of life."

"Remember there are three critical issues reflected in these channels of temptations. 1) the will of God, as expressed through your dependence upon God; 2) The Word of God, as expressed through your confidence in God; and 3) the worship of God, as expressed through your humble obedience to God. Every temptation that Satan throws at you will challenge one or all of these values."

-Frick! How often am I tempted and stray in these three areas? ALOT! Thank you God for grace and mercy!

Last night I had a break through, I feel.

I've been praying a lot in specific to my future's direction. Instead of making my own decisions, I wanted to seek God's opinion and for Him to direct my steps. I'm a planner, you see, and I like making plans.

But I was praying, like normal, "God what would you like? Is there anywhere that you would like me to go? I need your direction and to hear you."

However, at some point, it switched in my mind, and I began to pray, "God, I trust you with my future. I know that you are sovereign and you are faithful. You have every step of my life ordained and planned, as long as I seek after you. I am not worried about the future or what's next because I know you have planned it out and know the path. God, I pray that you reveal the steps as you see fit to me, that I would be sensitive to your voice. That when the time is right, Lord, you will give me direction, and I trust that you will speak to me. Thank you for being God. Thank you for being Good."

I expressed my confidence in His plan, in His ways, in His ability, in His timing, instead of wanting to know the way so that I could make my plans, my ways, in my ability, and in my timing.

I submitted.

After saying it so many times - I submit my future to you, I leave it in your hands- I finally, for a brief moment, really did. I really did leave it with Him. It was like, "You know? This is yours to deal with. Your much more competent, you have more connections, you understand things better. I know that you love me, you care about me, and you guide me (because your Word says so), so I know that you're not gonna lead me wrong. So here you go, this is too complicated for me, I don't want to deal with it anymore, and your much more capable. Just let me know what's up when I need to know, and we will be all good. I'll probably just ask you every once in a while, specifically, just to see if it's time yet, but if you don't let me know, I'll just know it's not time yet to know."

I trusted.

It was so refreshing. I didn't have to coordinate. I didn't have to figure it out. I didn't have to plan. I could just pass it to Him, and He would be my Life Coordinator, as it were. All I have to do is wait for Him to let me know what's the next step, maybe check in once in a while in case I missed His call cuz I was too busy.

But ultimately, the work is done.

My work, is done.

It's so nice, and I couldn't even have done it anyway.

It's nice to be a child and get taken care of. I should remember my place more often, instead of trying to be a schemer.

I need to remember that

I am human

and God is God

I need to LET GOD be GOD.