Rebellion Versus Boundaries

I am a rebellious person.

I have no boundaries.

Perhaps I am not as rebellious as I thought I was.

Maybe, when my "rebellion" came out, it was really people hitting the boundaries I should have had: should have stuck to.

In reading the book Boundaries, I have realized that I am a big fat push over in many areas where it is CRUCIAL to have boundaries.

Sometimes, it's right to say No (Granted there are better ways to say "no" than others, but you get the idea).

When I would say "No," I just thought I was being rebellious. "No, I don't actually want to do that." "No, I don't actually think that's right." In the end, I would always go along with it if it was decided upon, but I didn't agree with it. Therefore, I just figured that was all rebellion and I needed to calm it down.

Boundaries, unlike rebellion, are things which every person needs. I have found that in many areas I do not have them set up as I should. Because of this, I am worse off.

Rebellion is not something that is looked very kindly upon by God, in fact, it is likened to witchcraft. So what is it? At this point, I don't think I can trust myself to give an answer to that.

The dictionary says for the word "Rebel"

–noun

1.a person who refuses allegiance to, resists, or rises in arms against the government or ruler of his or her country.

2.a person who resists any authority, control, or tradition.

–adjective

3.rebellious; defiant.

4.of or pertaining to rebels.

–verb (used without object)re·bel

5.to reject, resist, or rise in arms against one's government or ruler.

6.to resist or rise against some authority, control, or tradition.

7.to show or feel utter repugnance: His very soul rebelled at spanking the child.

This doesn't seem very helpful in my quest, however. I need to learn this lesson. Because, on the one hand, I'm learning assertiveness.

My goal was to be able to say NO in situations where it is appropriate to do so, when I really don't want to do whatever is asked not matter who asks me.

However, the kicker, is that I think there is a fair share of rebellion and pride in me that I think God wants to kill.

How do I know the difference between a boundary (a healthy time to say no), and rebellion (whatever that is)?